One thing I usually get asked about being a mother is whether my babies co-sleep (sleep on the same bed) with me, or in their own rooms. My answer is that they’ve always slept with me. Many will ask if this is preferred over having their own rooms, and the only best way to answer this is to say it depends on you. 

Before I became a mom, I had already decided to co-sleep. The plan was to eventually move her to her own room when she was a bit older. When my daughter was born however, I found it easier to have her close by. For one thing, she was a crier and in her first few nights at home, could only be consoled by rocking and letting her sleep on top of my tummy – good thing I had a normal delivery! Another reason was since I didn’t have a helper or yaya then, it was more convenient to feed her at night when she was right beside me. I also tried having her crib right beside the bed, but this also meant getting up just so I can feed her. She also developed milk allergy at 6 weeks, and would throw up after feeding. With co-sleeping, it was easier to monitor her and make sure she was not choking on milk. Toilet training was also easier, as she would wake me up whenever she had to go to the bathroom until she learned to do so on her own.

When my son came along 3 years later, we had the same arrangement as he also liked sleeping on my tummy.  It also let my daughter get more involved in caring for him – holding the bottle or taping the diaper flaps whenever I change him.  Plus it also included him in our bedtime stories. 

The downside to this is that now that they’re older (she’s almost 4 and my son is 1), they like going over into each other’s “spaces” during bedtime — we sleep in a big bed, “partitioned” by pillows.  So the simple matter of getting them to sleep becomes prolonged play time as they think it’s funny to be right next to each other instead of having me in the middle. One child also has the tendency to wake up the other if he/she is not yet asleep. Sleeping together also means having the same bedtime: we all have to be in bed at 9:30pm. Otherwise, they’ll end up sneaking out. I’ve also tried getting up after they have been in bed, but they seem to have some sort of sixth sense for me. The moment I’m not beside them, one of them will wake up. It can also be a bit dangerous once your baby starts moving around as there is the tendency to fall off the bed. I’m lucky that I’m a very light sleeper, but I do sleep on the edge, while the kids are on the side nearest the wall. 

Sleeping in on weekends can also be difficult, especially if your kids wake up early. Given how noisy my son can be once he’s up, my helper ( I now have one) usually takes him to feed him breakfast and play with him to allow me to grab a few more minutes of sleep with my daughter.

Both have their pros and cons, and the only way to figure out what works for you is to try both methods. Go with what’s comfortable for you and your child. For me, I work full time as well, so having them beside me at night  gives me a few more hours of cuddle time before I go off for work in the morning.