Motherhood Mystery #1: Pangingilala


Motherhood mysteries: pangingilala

This pangingilala manifests as crying and mild fussing when the little one is carried by -- or sometimes when she sees -- a particular person. Image from morguefile.com

It has happened. Our Little One (almost five months now) has discovered pangingilala, or as I describe it, “choosy about her caregivers and fussy if she doesn’t like them.”

This pangingilala manifests as crying and mild fussing when she’s carried by — or sometimes when she sees — a particular person. Or, to look at it another way, she is consistently relaxed and calm only with certain people. Whether or not she fusses with other people is a function of mood. As a (semi) full-time mom who relies on extended family caring for her when I work, this is an issue. How does this happen?

Suggested culprits:
– Discomfort due to poor carrying technique.
– Bothered by perfume.
– Not in the mood to socialize, if person is unfamiliar.

What we’re doing:
We brought the LO to see her twice-a-week babysitters (my relatives) more often, so she would get used to them. She’s still not completely relaxed with certain people, but it seems like the time together is working. We also try to spend time with her and the babysitter, all together.

Advice from those who know better:
This article at Smart Parenting brings up a good point — we really should start telling people that the LO is in this stage. We may not know yet why she’s choosy and how to calm her down, but at least if we tell them, then finding the solution becomes a crowdsourced activity. And they don’t feel rejected by her. (I’m sure she doesn’t mean it that way!)

Motherhood Mysteries: Carmina Esguerra-Co has no prior experience caring for children, but for some reason she has decided to be a full-time mom five days out of seven. (On the two other days she is a writer, consultant, corporate trainer and educator.) In this series she blogs about the motherhood mysteries she’s encountering. Help used rolex florida out if you can, she’s obviously new at this!



Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: